DON’T FUCK AROUND WITH MISTLETOE
BALDUR IS ONE OF THE FEW NICE GUYS OF NORSE MYTHOLOGY, SO WHEN THIS CUTIE STARTED GETTING BAD DREAMS ABOUT HIS DEATH, HIS DADDY ODIN WENT TO FIND OUT WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON.
SOME TRIPPY-ASS PROPHET TOLD HIM THAT BALDUR WOULD BE KILLED BY HIS BROTHER HODR WITH SOME FUCKING TWIG. BALDUR’S MUMMY FRIGGA WAS FUCKING ANGRY ABOUT THIS SHIT SO SHE MADE EVERY SINGLE THING IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING NINE WORLDS PROMISE NOT TO HURT CUTE LIL BALDUR.
THE GODS THEN FUCKING THREW STONES AND SHIT AT BALDUR TO TEST WHETHER HE WOULD BE SAFE. HE WAS FUCKING FINE, STONES KEEP THEIR PROMISES. THIS PISSED OFF LOKI BECAUSE HE WANTED MORE SHIT TO BE HITTING THE FAN. SO HE GOT FRIGGA TO ADMIT THAT SHE FORGOT TO MAKE ONE LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT PROMISE TO NOT HURT BALDUR; FUCKING MISTLETOE.
NATURALLY LOKI WENT AND BOUGHT A SHIT TONNE OF MISTLETOE, AND WENT BACK TO WHERE ALL THE GODS WERE RANDOMLY CHUCKING THINGS AT BALDUR. PRETENDING TO BE A FUCKING REASONABLE GUY AND HELPING A BLIND DUDE ENJOY THE FUN, LOKI HANDED SOME MISTLETOE TO THE BLIND GOD HODR, AND HELPED HIM AIM.
HODR THREW THE MISTLETOE RIGHT AT BALDUR AND IT WENT STRAIGHT FUCKING THROUGH HIM, AND HE DIED. IT WAS SUPER FUCKING AWKWARD. DON’T WORRY THOUGH, BALDUR IS SUPPOSED TO RETURN SOMEDAY BEFORE THE END OF THE WORLD, BUT IN THE MEAN TIME, DON’T FUCK AROUND WITH MISTLETOE THIS HOLIDAY SEASON: THAT SHIT IS DANGEROUS.
just because you’re not there to see it, does not mean it doesn’t exist
I’m sorry but is that a freaking SLENDERMAN????
ALL ABOARD THE NOPE TRAIN.
I THUGH THIS WAS A STICK BUG
TAKING THE NOPE TRAIN TO FUCKTHATVILLE
…..So uh where was this taken? So I know where to stay the fuck away.
I’ve been fighting Deathstroke all morning
I had the same problem with him, spam the batclaw at him with the quick use button and he’ll be pulled over and vulnerable for a few good attacks.
December 3rd, 1995 | December 3rd, 2409
Just wanted to wish a happy birthday to the wonderfully imperfect Strider boys!
Karkat better be ready to be attacked by a lion.
ERIDAN DEFEND ME FROM EQUIUS SOB
Aradia vs Vriska. If how it turned out last time is anything to go by, I’m safe!
Sollux is wanting to kill me. Aradia is protecting me.
So terezi is trying to kill me and Gamzee (
I really like villians okay?) is protecting me.
…….Whelp I’m safe.
Sorry Terezi :(
This is probably a bad place to ask but does anyone know where I can get a decent torrent of Frozen?
I actually really wanna see it but I really can’t afford to go see it in theaters any time soon.
So if someone could link me to a decent torrent or stream of it I’d be thankful.
oh my god that outfit kills me
…Is that a Gunblade?
Why does Levi have a Gunblade?
aka the I’M NOT OKAY GIVEAWAY in which one of you lucky bastards is gonna get a survival pack for when the end comes
what you get:
(2) homestuck t-shirts, from whatpumpkin or topatco
(1) homestuck hoodie from whatpumpkin
(1) drawing of your homestuck OTP by indigonite
(3) albums from the homestuck bandcamp
(1) sbahj magnet pack OR a captchalogue board
assorted brazilian candy
(1) vial of my homestuck-loving tears
if you are following me you also get:
(1) large pizza. i will order you a pizza.
(1) homestuck official poster
50 dollars worth of merchandise from ANOTHER FANDOM (cause we’ve gotta move on, kids)
it ends when homestuck ends. the last upd8. the final animation.
likes count, reblog as much as you want, i don’t care
giveaway blogs count too i don’t care
i will ship anywhere in the world i don’t care
you have to have your ask box open so i can get your shipping info. if you don’t reply in three days i will pick someone else. sorry!
you can choose the t-shirt prints, pizza flavor, etc
also, hussie said new homestuck stuff is going to be added soon, so i might throw in a few more items later. don’t worry, you will get the updated bonanza bundle no matter which version you reblogged
good luck yall
whatpumpkin updated! new tees, hoodies and prints to choose from and i’m also throwing in a set of 4 god tier pins OR charms for my followers
and again, good luck!
i realize in full i might be going a bit crazy here but i’m so EXCITED
so everyone also gets a homestuck tarot deck and followers get any one plush doll from whatpumpking. that includes any of the four consorts and two scalemates! be sure to check out the new hoodies, tees and prints!